April Love - Day 30

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to explore myself. Thank you for letting me know that I can embrace myself for who I truly am.

April Love - Day 29

My eyes.

I wish that I could see what is to come.

I wish that I could see better days in the future.

I wish that I could see myself whole again. 

April Love - Day 28

Today's prompt is clouds. I took this picture at varsity the other morning. The clouds were so unusual.

                                 The Rainy Day

THE DAY is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.
My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the mouldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,
And the days are dark and dreary.
Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.

                                       by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807–1882)

April Love - Day 27

Today's prompt is "love is". The amazing people (and pets) that I am so blessed to have in my life show me what love is every single day.

Love is...

showing that you care about another person by sending messages and funny pictures even when you're oceans away.

sacrificing your own happiness to make the other person happy.

helping your sister out when she is too pathetic to drive someplace scary (and not just once but frequently!)

giving slobbery kisses.

sharing your soggy chips with everyone around you even though you really want them for yourself.

giving your friend a chocolate and sending millions of voice notes when they're feeling down.

being SOOOOOOO happy to see that person every morning (and showing this by giving them endless amounts of kisses on the face).

April Love - Day 26

Today's prompt is something beginning with an A. So I chose AUSTRALIA! I am so excited to be visiting Aus for the very first time in December/January.

I'm going to be travelling alone for the first time ever!! I usually travel with my family. It's reassuring to travel with my mom as she is an excellent organizer, I tend to just follow in awe. My mom is also a great flying companion, we hold hands for take-offs, landings and turbulence and not so silently whimper when the plane bumps, jolts or makes any form of a strange noise. It is rather daunting to travel alone as I have a severe moderate slight fear of flying, if you have not already realised... If I am honest it's mostly on the severe side of life.... But I will be fine (I hope). I will visit the pharmacy and get an extra large pack of Biral a week before I fly off and possibly have many glasses of the free alcohol during the flight! Jokes mom, ha. ha. ha. ha. (not joking).

But yes the total flying hours (32 hours and 45 minutes) will be worth it in the end! Pffffft of course I didn't work out the EXACT flying hours... That would be way too OCD and weird... Cough, cough. Well anyway, enough about the bloody flying it's making me sweaty!!

So the plan is that I fly (oh my gosh) from Durban to Jo'burg, Jo'burg to Sydney on Boxing Day. Upon arrival at Sydney (hopefully, if I survive the flight), I will meet my godparents.  My godparents and I will tour Sydney for 2 nights and then head off to their home in Canberra. I'll stay with them in Canberra for 3 nights and then leave for Adelaide! In Adelaide, I'm going to meet up with my best little sister (whom I have just adopted as my sis, unbeknownst to anyone else) and her family. I'm going to be with them for 2 weeks, we're going to tour a bit of Adelaide, their home in Roxby Downs and visit other family in Quorn. I'm so excited to explore Australia!

My sis and I when she was visiting South Africa

Yes I am White, no I am not racist.

This is a post I have been planning on writing for a while. I have hesitated because I don't want people to "hate" on me. It's about the country which I love, live in and never want to leave.

Being a white girl, and living in South Africa is not easy. I get labelled everyday as "rich b#tch" "racist" "ignorant" "foreigner", people may not say these words to my face but I can feel it in the looks  that I receive. It annoys and angers me to my core, because not one of those labels is truthful. The iPad that I take to campus, I paid for over half of it over 2 years, the other half was my birthday present. I am not racist, neither are my parents or my grandparents.

I am sick of being told that I do not belong here or that I must go "home". I was born here, my parents were born here, my grandparents were born here. Most of my ancestors came to South Africa in the 1820's. I have as much right to be here as every South African person living in this country right now. I am not to blame for what happened over 20 years ago. I wasn't even alive! I am ashamed of what happened, I am ashamed of all the white people that give other white people a bad reputation. I am not denying that colonialism happened in this country, I know that the colonialists abused and exploited the local population. I am ashamed that a white person came up with such a thing as Apartheid. I often wish that I wasn't white because so many white people did such horrific things. I do not feel any pride in my own race. I am actually jealous of people of other races, they have a culture. English white South Africans don't really have a culture of their own, we have bits and pieces of British culture, and some stolen bits from other South Africans, but nothing to call our own.

BUT, the fact remains that I am not the founder of Apartheid, I am not a colonialist, I did not oppress any race, I have never intentionally or unintentionally been racist, I have lived my entire life in this country,so why do I feel like I am not wanted?

To the people that say white people must go home, where do you expect me to go? I am home. I have ancestors from England and Ireland, but those countries don't want me. And even if they did, I can't get in as I don't qualify for an ancestral visa. Where can I go? What do you want me to do? What can I do to change peoples' perspectives?

I feel so lost right now. A part of me wants to leave. I am starting to feel scared in my own home. But this is where I am from, I feel such a loyalty to stay.

April Love - Day 25

My simple pleasures include: my music, my Labello Fruity Shine Watermelon (which I got for free at the Park and Ride for the One Direction concert) and my face cream (Care and Repair Plus by The Beautiful Store).

Music is my companion these days, it helps me release pain and remember happier days. My Labello makes me happy every time I put it on! It smells soooooooo good, and it gives my lips a sparkle! I absolutely love my face cream! Not only because I can actually wear it without having a reaction (I'm hyper-allergic), but also as it leaves my skin feeling soft and refreshed. I find that a lot of creams that nourish my skin also leave it feeling a bit oily or else it feels like my skin is being suffocated by a layer of cream, this is one doesn't do that! This is actually one of the moisturizers that I can wear all year around as it relieves dry skin in winter, but isn't too heavy on my skin in summer. 

So yeah! Those are a few of the simple pleasures that keep me sane!

April Love - Day 24

This evening I went to the Bellevue Artisan Market with my family. It was a stunning evening, perfect for a market. The market had no shortage of items that I would LOVE to buy, from clothing, jewelry, soap and skincare products to cute artsy items. The food was delicious, my mom and I shared a cheese and chives griller and a yummy butternut pastry of sorts. For pudding I had a lemon meringue tart, it was sublime. There were craft beers, cider and wine (which are made locally) available.

The April Love challenge today is trees, so I took some pics of trees at the market.

April Love - Day 23

When I was little, I enjoyed being outside. I was a major water-baby, I'd swim all summer and be nut-brown by the end of it! I also enjoyed riding my bicycle and playing soccer with my brother on the driveway. The driveway was large and paved, so it was perfect for all outdoor sports! I spent endless hours running around, riding scooters and bicycles, playing soccer, rugby and four-square. I wasn't purely a tomboy, I had my barbies and dolls as well! But my best memories are the ones where I was climbing trees, playing on the driveway, eating veggies straight from the garden and playing in the pool. The best part was how carefree I was, I didn't care what anyone thought, or how I looked.

April Love - Day 22

Autumn is upon us! It's starting to show, there is less green but more blue! The sky is always the best in Autumn.

April Love - Day 21

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years 11 months and 1 week. It wasn't an easy decision. We've been having troubles since June last year, we even broke it off twice since then. I felt as if I had to carry on trying to save our relationship, until this last month. I realised that no matter how hard I try to fix it or control it, if something isn't working, it is just not going to work. 

That realisation hit me like a ton of bricks, I don't like to face defeat. But I was losing myself in trying to fix my relationship, I had to do it. It is rather a coincidence that it happened during the April Love challenge because I actually showed self-love (I don't tend to love myself, I'm more of the beat yourself up kind). 

I know I will be okay, but just not today.

Here are some memories from my first love. I made this video on Valentines Day this year.

April Love - Day 20

Today's prompt is my scent.

Currently I use Wonderstruck by Taylor Swift as my everyday perfume. I really like the smell, but these days I'm wanting something different. I feel like this is still my "high school scent". But right now I don't have the money to buy a new perfume! #studentbudget

This is my "special occasions" perfume. It's Salvatore Ferragamo.

And lastly, my dream scent! Tommy Hilfiger Peach Blossom. My life. One day. 

April Love - Day 19

I live here:

I live in Kloof which is a town in the greater Durban area of KwaZulu-Natal. So basically, I live on the East Coast of South Africa. We have lovely weather all year. Our summers are warm, averages around 27°C (81°F). Winters are usually mild, with day time temperatures averaging at 22°C (72°F). I love living in Durban; there are lovely markets, restaurants, beaches, shopping malls and food (Indian food (Bunny chow, breyani, samoosas and prawn curry) and seafood especially!)

Umhlanga Beach Front

Morning sky at home

Evening at home

Evening at home on the deck

April Love - Day 18

My adorable Issy boo the other morning. Totally fits in with today's prompt- sweet. I couldn't have asked for a sweeter niece!

April Love - Day 17

I have read many books. Not many have been life changing. I'd say Shades by Maguerite Poland has been the most life changing for me.

Penguin Books South Africa had this to say about it: 

"Against a backdrop of drought, the rinderpest pandemic, the South African War, the burgeoning gold-mining industry and the complex birth of the exploitative system of recruiting migrant labour, Shades explores the growing tensions between cultures in South Africa at the turn of the twentieth century and the deepening awareness of the black mission-educated elite, empowered by the printing press, of the need to articulate their political and spiritual beliefs. Set within the microcosm of an isolated Eastern Cape mission, Shades is not only a love story and the chronicle of a family but a sensitive and perceptive insight into the country's wider conflicts. It explores the slow but inexorable destruction of the fabric of a community, the assault on its traditions and the struggle to reconcile two faiths: the Christian and the traditional beliefs of the amaXhosa in their ancestral shades. It is the story of those far-sighted enough to seek convergence and those destined to undermine its wisdom. Primarily, Shades is an intimate tale of love, friendship, acceptance and profound loss: of life, of faith and of belonging."

It's rather funny how I came to know the novel. My mom was actually reading it aloud to my sister as it was her Matric set book (my sister is not a reader, she is more of an auditory learner), and I took an interest and listened along with her. After my mom finished reading it, I immediately started reading it on my own. Since then I think I have read it another twice (the first time I was rather young, only 11/12, so  I didn't pick up on some aspects). 

The aspects of the novel that changed me the most were the realistic views it has on colonialism and religion. It somehow spoke to me more than any history lesson about Apartheid or any church service ever had. It made me see how selfish and obnoxious the White colonialists were. It also opened my eyes to how sometimes we get so set in our ideas (whether it is religion, or culture) that we don't take time to listen and learn from each other. We're too busy trying to shove our ideas down each other's throats.

You can buy the book from Amazon or Takealot. Read it and let me know what your thoughts are. 

April Love - Day 16

10 years ago I was 9 going on 10. Here's a pic of my sister and I on a hike in the Drakensberg. 

April Love - Day 15

I was sitting in the dining room with the gas lamp on (load shedding- more on that later), while trying to figure out what to do with the prompt "Yellow". I then realised the yellow glow that the lamp gave off. It got me thinking about the contrast between light and dark. I had a self-relisation, when times get tough (dark), it is pointless to succumb to the circumstances, I have to be the light (even if my light is dim). 

I started googling some quotes about light and these 3 stuck:

we must bring
our own light
to the
darkness

Charles Bukowski


“Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light.”

Yogi Bhajan

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

April Love - Day 14

I will be honest, I have an obsession. Everybody who knows me knows about my obsession. My obsession is Jeremy Loops. I know every song word for word, I know the instrumental parts (my harmonica impersonation is rather impressive- even if I do say so myself), I know the rap parts, and to be completely honest; I even know the order of the songs on the CD.

My love for his music only started around October last year. My boyfriend Calvin bought me his CD for Christmas, and since then there has been no turning back! I had the greatest pleasure of meeting him at a concert in Durban in February. He’s such a cool guy!

Calvin and I went to his concert at the Durban Botanical Gardens this past weekend. It was absolutely awesome! It had such a vibe with 5000 fans singing along together! Jeremy Loops, Motheo Moleko (rapper) and Jamie Faull (Sax) know exactly how to put on a great show. They all look as if they’re having as much fun as we are.

Listen to his jams here

April Love - Day 13

Today the challenge is "Love note to self".

Dear Me

Be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished. Have faith in your abilities, don't doubt yourself so much. You have done some pretty darn awesome stuff, gone to amazing places, you have supper on a table every night and you have enough money to spoil yourself every now and again, so be grateful for that. And lastly, as your best friend would say, BREATHE. 

Now me go and kick some Pathology, Microbiology and Neurology ass!

xx

April Love - Day 12

I sadly managed to get a day behind! I have a test on Wednesday so I spent most of yesterday studying! :( 

Day 12 of April Love is evening rituals. I don't have many evening rituals,and the ones that I do have are rather boring. At about 8-8:30 I have my cup of Five Roses Tea with 1 and a half sugars and milk (I'm fussy with my tea, it has to be Five Roses normal tea, the sugar must be white and the milk is either PnP, Woolworths or Clover 2% Low Fat) . 

Ingredients to the perfect cup of tea!

My last evening ritual includes reading for +/-15 mins in bed before I go to sleep.

April Love - Day 11

An inspiring person. I knew immediately who I would choose. It may be slightly cliché, but it's true, my mom is my role model and she inspires me daily.

My mom is the strongest person that I know. She has suffered countless challenges in her life, yet she is still so loving and supportive. She is the most fair, honest, loving and trustworthy mother that I could have ever wished for. My mom lives life with a quiet strength and determination. She is the cornerstone of my family, everyone turns to her for support, advice and love. She is the organiser, the helper, the planner, the one everyone tells their sob-stories to, the one everyone complains to. She does all of this selflessly, without complaining. 

I posted this on my Instagram on her birthday "She is my rock, my best friend, my comforter, my confidant, my carer, my counselor, my adviser. She has been the person who gives me strength when I have none. She gives me inspiration when I think that there is none left to give. She gives unwavering support and love to me when I do not even deserve it. I can only dream of becoming half the women she is one day."

I love you so much Mom. Thank you for making me want to be the best that I can be.

April Love - Day 10

My superpower. I think this will be the hardest blog post of this whole challenge, this really is getting into the whole "self-love thing" that this challenge is all about. Personally, I don't think there is anything that is truly unique or spectacular about me. I don't think that I have something in particular that sets me out from the rest of the crowd. I really don't mean that in a whiny "I hate myself" kind of way! I find it much easier to name my weaknesses than to name my strengths. I actually think that is a strength, I can admit my faults. It tends to be easy to pretend that one is perfect but I have a highly active conscience, I admit when I am wrong.

It was actually rather weird, last night I looked to see what today's prompt was, I was rather dismal when I saw it was "My superpower" as I never liked filling in those Life Orientation tasks at school about "My Strengths". After that, I was scrolling through Facebook and found this photo:

I think that is my superpower, I tend to be stubborn and determined. Once I get into the "never back down" mindset, I really never back down! I have faced challenges but I have made it through them, and as the picture says, I have gained strength and confidence from them.

April Love - Day 9

Today I had to go back to 5 years ago. This was quite unpleasant as I was 14 going on 15. I was that awkward teenager who didn't really know who she was. At times I thought that I was the bomb-digidy, at other times all I could worry about was how ugly I was or how I would never get into the "cool crowd". But somehow I survived that year with the help of my ever-patient parents and my BFF Yudhika.

In 2010:

1. I went to Egypt with my Famdam {travel bug = bitten}

2. P-dawg emerged my brutha! {I also thought photo editing was the best thing since sliced bread my dawg. In case you didn't notice.}

3. I had the whole "I can't smile" thing going (as well as the "I haven't found out about highlights so I just look like a puffy warm corpse") for most of the year!

4. I was obsessed with hockey.

5. I found my best friend! And more importantly highlights!! I joke. Kind of. To be honest they are both vital. 

Well I'm glad that's over. In all seriousness, 2010 was a turning point for me. By the end of the year I had started to find myself. I was no longer so self-conscious and awkward. I started hanging out with people that accepted me as I am, a weird, anxious, stubborn nerd!